I am a connector by nature. I enjoy bringing people together; this is what helped me be a successful event planner in my younger life. A few years into this adventure, my husband and I noticed people were looking to us as a resource – to make introductions, to offer advice, to throw a party or two. We were always happy to share our experience with people who were new to the community, and guide them to people who would resonate with them.
A little over a year ago, I started a group, and it has since become a tribe. It’s invitation-only. We have an online forum where we discuss feelings, health issues, politics around sex and sexuality, and post sexy pictures. We also organize events and support and celebrate each other.
In addition to being available to members for advice and encouragement, I produce elegant, sexy parties. Slowly, I am fashioning a business. Born from embracing my own, distinctive, sexuality, and building membership with great care and intention, planning parties, and crafting that business to be based in community.
“Safe, fun, consensual.” These guiding principles, when applied to sex (and many things in life, really), make for incredible connection, vulnerability, and vitality. My group honors these principles, and when new members join, they are asked to do so as well. We are growing, this group of happy people. As we grow, we also educate, encourage, and have a heck of a good time. There are many sex-oriented businesses in Portland, and there’s room for many more. I am excited to bring my vision, and the ethos of my tribe, to a business someday.
I enjoyed sex with a handful of partners before my marriage, and, in the context of our marriage, my husband and I had always been open and adventurous, though monogamous
My tale isn’t unique. I’ve listened to stories about sexual awareness, ownership, and awakening from countless women. What I’ve chosen to do – to be open in a public forum – is unique. This exposes me to judgment, some of it unkind. Sex and sexuality is often warped by false morality that eclipses real ethics. I strongly believe that when people are free to engage in their sexual desires safely and consensually, they are healthier.
Well, I know that not everyone is like me – or the people I serve through my capacity as a Madame. But it’s equally obvious to me that there are many more out there who are like us, but don’t feel supported or safe living their sexual truth openly and honestly. Unfortunately, American society demonizes sex-for-fun. (And believe me; it’s fun!)
Our culture employs shame and false morality as a method of sexual control. By telling my story publicly – as I am doing with my own family, friends, and others in my local community – I hope to contribute to a conversation about open sexuality, ethics, and respect that is long overdue in this country. And I’m going to throw some really good parties while we talk this stuff out.
We will always encourage them to understand their sexuality and be in charge of it
That first night at the club I had a number of revelations. First, “swingers” (for lack of a better term for the club’s patrons) are nice. I mean really friendly, authentic, and (most notably) respectful people. Second, I’m an exhibitionist. Seeing the look in my husband’s eyes when I took the top of my dress down in the couples’ lounge was incredibly erotic. And finally, I’m sexy to other people. What’s more? We, my husband and I, are sexy to other people.
A few years after we joined this community, my husband and I made the ily about our choice. To our pleasant surprise, the response has been universally warm and accepting. People often ask if we’ve told our children. We discuss sex and sexuality in an age-appropriate manner with our daughters. As they grow to be more sexually aware, we will share information about our own choices as appropriate. My personal experience in the swinging/poly world has allowed me to be more comfortable talking about sex, health, and feelings with my daughters with more knowledge and sensitivity.